Meaning: Don’t forget your loved ones, but don’t remember them
What is the meaning of Qingming Festival?Most people would answer, “To mourn those who have passed away, especially ancestors!”I used to think that the meaning of Tomb-sweeping Day lies in this, but after years of growth, I finally understand the ancients’ good intentions, set the Tomb-sweeping Day this holiday, not only remind us not to forget the passing of loved ones, but also remind us not to remember the passing of loved ones!Everything is still not as good as, loved ones leave always let a person extremely sad, difficult to let go, but too much missing also easy to lead to people thinner than yellow flowers!I have been very thin, 11 years old – 28 years old this age, not only thin, the body is particularly bad, every three or five colds, cold medicine has not broken!I didn’t understand the reason for it until I realized after many years that it was all caused by excessive yearning for my dead mother!My mother died suddenly when I was 11, and I’ve had the same dream for more than a decade!In the dream, I saw the kind of mother far away, I shouted “mom, mom, mom,” while happily ran to her!However, when I ran into a look, the mother completely changed her face, pale face, nose below two drops of blood, mouth is purple!Seeing her like this, I was so scared that I cried!Wake up, tears wet the towel!That terrible scene was my mother’s face at her last funeral!That morning, in the beating of drums and people’s cries, mother will be funeral!My neighbor kindly warned me to go see your mother one last time, and then only in my dreams!So I went to look at her in the coffin on my feet. The sight made me close my eyes!Her face was what I dreamed she would be!In this way, the mother’s last appearance and the usual kind face has been left in my memory!Since then, ALTHOUGH I often smile on the face, but is actually sentimental!Rainy day, looking at the window of the falling rain, I can not help but think of my mother before I sent an umbrella scene, at that moment, I miss my mother so much, more miss the lost maternal love!New Year’s Day, in the face of the cold pot cold stove at home, as if to see the busy mother, I miss the days before, mother in the New Year’s Day is always jubilate, wear new clothes, do New Year goods, kill pigs, do a lot of delicious, both sides of the family to my home New Year’s day!What a bustle!Every time I see someone else’s mother, I always think of my mother and wish she was still alive and we could snuggle together and talk to each other!Later, when I went to work and saw the clothes of the old lady in the clothing store, I always looked at the clothes and imagined whether my mother would fit me!…In short, those years, mother’s shadow has been lingering in my heart!Day to think, night to dream!I think of her sometimes during the day, and dream of her often at night!With missing comes fear!All those years, I always felt that I was filled with negative emotions, but before I met a person named “mom”, those emotions were quietly suppressed in my heart, but quietly affected my body!Until I met my mother-in-law, those suppressed emotions began to erupt bit by bit!Because the mother-in-law called a “mother”, because deeply miss the dead mother, so, I especially cherish this called “mother” mother-in-law!Because of the wrong positioning, because we please each other, often a word will ignite our anger, which leads to another argument!In the quarrel in 2015, I grew up in an instant, and deeply understood that “this mother is not that mother”. I finally accepted the fact that my mother had passed away, and my heart was finally relieved!Strange to say, since then, I no longer have that dream, my body also began to get better, rarely sick, most importantly, my heart no fear, originally I would blush when speaking in public, since then in any occasions will talk freely!Just because I did not miss the passing of the mother, but will worship her in tomb-sweeping day and death day!In the incense, carefully recall her voice and appearance, recall the childhood bit by bit!So, life is simple and warm!Human life and death are the natural law, for each of us, we have to remember the dead loved ones, but do not live in the world of memory!Although they are gone, but still have an impact on our lives!In the special time to worship them, in the rest of the time to live in the present, cherish what they have, less memories of the past, more yearning for the future!I think this is the true meaning of Tomb-sweeping Day!Long Chunhua, a parent-child writer, is the founder of Long Chunhua Parent-child Practice class and a second-child mother. She has written more than ten works, including “Raising Boys, Mothers Have Ways”, “Child, You Are the Best Of Yourself” and “Infant behavioral Psychology”.