To be honest, whether two people are suitable or not is never a matter of judgment

2022-06-05 0 By

I still remember he Jiong said: “If you suddenly meet someone who is perfect for you, who is especially accommodating and considerate to you, you must be careful. There is no such person in this world. Don’t believe in fairy tales!”I think so.In this world, there are no two identical leaves, no two identical people.When two people are together, they can only seek common ground while reserving differences. Because they come from different families, grow up in different environments and receive different education levels, each person is unique.What is a unique individual?You have your thoughts, your feelings, your personality, your cognition, your three views, and I have mine.If you expect to meet a soul mate, expect to get hurt.In particular, I hope that the three views of the two people are highly consistent, and that they act and act in unison.If you meet someone like this, it just means they’re smarter than you are, and they’re hiding their true self from you.So three views, this is very normal, three views is not really terrible.What is fit?Just mutual respect, acceptance and understanding.To be honest, whether two people are suitable or not is never a matter of judgment.When two completely different people come together, there will be inappropriate parts. Whether they are suitable or not depends on how the two people deal with the inappropriate parts, or whether they have the ability and characteristics to deal with the inappropriate parts.1. Character.Fit or not, why do we need to look at personality?For example, a selfish person, everything is self-centered, will only consider their own interests, then he is impossible to accept another person.If very selfish, will only take, but also bring more inappropriate part, often conflict and friction.The other selfish person is very critical and always asks others for what kind of change they want to make instead of thinking about what kind of change they want to make themselves.Unless you can cater to him without limits, it is impossible to fit and make your life comfortable.Therefore, if the character is not good enough, it is difficult to respect and accept others, and never respect each other as an independent individual, let alone to retain the integrity of the individual.Instead, they often want to control each other, and gradually lose the equal love relationship, husband and wife relationship.Really, bad character, will only test your bottom line again and again, challenge your bottom line, until you become a bottomless man.If you want to have the expression of your true self in your relationship and marriage, you must avoid such people, otherwise two people are more than unsuitable.If you can’t accept a bad person, it’s all the wrong part of the rest of your relationship.2. Personality.When it comes to people with strong personalities, you can’t be suitable either, because there’s no tolerance for each other.Especially in marriage, the longer you go on, the more you realize that the so-called tolerance and accommodation is actually the glorification of the word tolerance.How important is this tolerance? Balzac once said: “Husband and wife should understand each other, and then tolerate and love each other, in order to maintain a happy marriage.If you are intolerant of each other’s flaws and unwilling to try out the things that you otherwise hate, a couple can quickly turn against each other.And then there’s nothing but mutual aggression and internal warfare.It is normal to have emotions. One knows how to give and the other knows how to endure. After the emotions have passed, they are still good couples.But if you can’t swallow the breath, you have to ask for an explanation, you have to find out everything, you have to argue endlessly.Can not bear a little grievance, in fact, such a person is not suitable for marriage life, after all, even if you meet a good person, there is no reason to suffer grievance, there are you angry to shivering, anxious to go out to buy a gun to shoot each other’s time.Without tolerance, it is impossible for two people to be suitable. Instead, arguments will become the norm of life, and more and more people will feel unsuitable, and question their own choices, and preset their own retreat.Empathy.Empathy, to a large extent, means the ability to put yourself in others’ shoes, rather than absolutely stand in their own position and Angle, and do not judge the result by right or wrong.In fact, the inappropriateness between two people, including the quarrel, is often just because of different positions, there is no right or wrong.Two people with empathy can understand each other’s situation and difficulties, less aggression, more understanding.Under such circumstances, two people will certainly cross more suitable, cross more sweet.Conversely, two people without empathy will always cause conflict from within.Empathy is important because empathetic people understand others.Understanding other people’s feelings, understanding other people’s position, can deal with the inappropriate part between two people, do not care too much about the position of the problem.When two people without empathy meet, when the passion fades, it will only be a disaster. No matter what, there is no escape from the end of the distance.So, look at empathy, and if you both have empathy, then you’re right.Why do two different people get along?It is not that two people have the same interests and hobbies, nor the same values, but they can tolerate each other and not care about the parts that are not suitable for them.In the presence of passion, there is little exposure of the true self. Instead, people will cover up their true colors through intentional obedience and deliberate camouflage, and become obstacles for others to understand themselves.To see really need you to see the place, eyes shift, do not stare at each other’s sanguan, there is any contradiction, there is no suitable, throw to sanguan to carry the blame.The root cause is clearly the lack of respect, acceptance, tolerance and understanding between each other.People also need to learn to change themselves, not always think about letting a person to fit you, but also want to let yourself, to fit someone else, and think about what you need to change.–END–